Before Stacy disappeared from the face of the earth (aka America), she and her sister, and I had a prolonged conversation over Skype(R) about our fourth most favorite subject. You wonder what that list is. Prepare for your mind to be blown.
1) Sushi and eating sushi
2) Being Asian and all the great things it entails
3) The only sitcom we watch in common How I Met Your Mother (House doesn't count because he broke up with Cuddy.)
4) Guys
5) Cocktails
6) Purposeful exposure of my mind to a subject that should never be touched by the light of day (Starts with "S" and rhymes with "ex")
7) Rave comics
*Boom.*
I know our priorities might seem very out of order, but this is how our mind works.
Anyways, I was about to go to bed whilst texting Stacy when she demanded a Skype conversation. I had a good 7 hours of sleep pre-allocated for the night, so I figure it wouldn't be too much of a pinch if I stayed up for thirty minutes.
I should never underestimate how awesome we are and how said awesomeness cannot be contained in a paltry 30 minutes.
We went through that list, first off by mentioning how Japan holds all kinds of interesting things that Stacy will probably ignore because she'll be 1) eating sushi, 2) *insert your choice of verb here* her boyfriend. Then we moved on and finally we hit Priority Number 4.
In a nutshell, what we have come realize is this. We, Stacy and I, operate on a cycle... (and I don't mean the kind you plug up). There are multiple times in our life where we have a collection of boys in the back of our minds. As we went through college, our interactions with said gender became more tangible and less oh-i-dont-know...IMAGINED, which made it easier to analyze the pattern we seem to find ourselves in over and over again.
1) Collection
For some reason, Stacy and I (AND HER TWINKIE LITE JR!!), tend to notice guys in threes. *Boom.* Okay, alright, I know. When I say "notice," I do mean notice. We don't do anything with them, dare I say it, simultaneously. At most, we'd only ever interact with one guy at a time. (Most of the time, I don't interact at all... but that was four years ago).
And we always seem to order the same combination of men. (And I use the word "order" in a similar fashion as I do when I'm on the phone with a Chinese food delivery service. I have no shame in this.)
Prepare once more for a mind-blowing realization:
a. The Safe Bet
b. The Trump Card
c. The Dark Horse
The Safe Bet is the guy you should like. He is everything plus the cherry on top. Good looks, kind, well-mannered (sometimes), and you most definitely didn't meet him in a bar. There might be a potential future with him, if you're the kind that looks that far ahead. He seems to like you. You can't be too sure, because there's a perpetual shyness in your relationship. This man will probably not break your heart.
The Trump Card is the guy you want (*insert "in bed" here if you are so inclined*). This boy has the looks of you're very own personal adrenaline shot--as in, this boy looks so good, you wanna do...Everything. Capital E. This boy-toy is elusive, and his attention is sometimes dubious. If you do manage to get a piece of him, something always comes up, making him quite the not-destined, ill-fated, choice. This boy might break your heart.
The Dark Horse is the guy who probably wants your body. And let's face it, the attention is down-right arousing. You know he's good, he's got references. There is not a doubt in your mind that there is a world of fun waiting for you on the other end of that third tequila shot. He's pretty hot in that sexy, animal way. But he's not your type, and you're not really his type. He has other women waiting on him, so he's not about to wait on your ass no matter how much he wants it. This one guarantees a bloody broken heart. And possibly STDs.
Time and time again, we seem to manage to have these three characters in our text message inbox. (In this case, yes, simultaneously.)
The cycle then moves on to:
2) Confrontation
Wherein one, or two, or all three, manage to somehow have drama with you. And in the end, you can only have one or none remain as your friend. (Friend in the simplest of sense.) The other two will probably lose interest completely, or you lose interest completely, but most likely, you'll drop all three for either reason.
3) Cessation
The time where you just need to stop and have a girl's night out. Or two. Or for months. It maybe a day (Stacy), it maybe two years (Hannah). Just Kidding.
Basically you just reasses and reconnect with your inner super-mega-foxy-awesome-hotness that no man can take away from you.
4) Continuation
Where you're super-mega-foxy-awesome-hotness becomes apparent to everyone around you, but specifically--and more importantly--to yourself. And you may choose to start the cycle again, or find another path. One that has not yet been traversed to completion by either of the Twinkie Lites.
And truly, we're not there yet. We would like to think we'll end up there someday, that in fact we are well on our way to that last destination. But Stacy and I both profess, we're not in any hurry to get there.
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